How to reBuild your Confidence and Self-Esteem
I’m going to give some practical tips for any guy starting over or finding himself again on how to build confidence and establish some good habits. Unfortunately, most of these have been overlooked, and a lot of young men grow up without having learned them.
Remember, confidence isn’t about being a arrogant asshole, or being loud and dominating. It’s pretty much the opposite.
It comes from knowing who you are, what you have experienced, and doing everything you can to be the best man you can be, the ideal version of yourself. The man with integrity, character, and cool calm collectedness. He is comfortable with himself and doesn’t have to overcompensate in any area of his life.
#1: Quit Slouching and get off your fucking phone
Start doing this NOW.
When you slouch, you project a position of weakness and low self-esteem. Even if it’s not who you are, it’s what you are projecting. Improving your posture is critical if you want to exude confidence. When you stand tall you feel better.
Staring down at your phone is destroying your posture.
#2: Make eye contact
Making eye contact with people when you are talking to them, is crucial for confidence. When meeting someone, on a date, or doing an interview, maintaining positive eye contact is going to get you better results.
It shows you are engaged in the conversation
You are not distracted
You are comfortable with who you are
If you are searching for the right woman, this will also to help you. When you talk to the woman, focus on her face, and look at her eyes. Don’t be looking down or away from her. Also, give your opinion to other people when they are speaking to you, so that it proves you are listening to them.
#3: Set goals
GO BIG.
List the goals you want to accomplish, then go for them.
Goals are an anchor in my life. When I am feeL uncertain, or not sure what I am doing, I always go back to my goals, and make sure that I am on the path that is moving towards them. Sometimes reaching goals takes a long time, but the more focused on one you become, the faster it comes to fruition. You may very well find out that you are really good at something, and can even make money from pursuing one fo your goals.
#4: Get stronger
The best way to build confidence is to get stronger. When people ask me what the best thing they can do to start changing their life in a positive direction, I immediately tell them to start lifting weights. A stronger man is more useful than one who is not, and men who are actively engaged in making positive changes are more apt to being used to make a difference.
Technique 5: Read and spend time in solitude
This can be a challenging concept in a world that tells you that you need to be in community and be vulnerable. It is also difficult because most people have no idea how to be OK with being alone. When I say alone, I mean without a device. Not scrolling on social media etc…
I mean, is alone, in quiet, reading a book, journaling/planning, or just reflecting on the day. You can be smoking a cigar, or drinking tequila. Whatever it is, do it in solitude. Get good at being alone. When you can do this, you think more clear, and stay true to what it is that you really want.
Now go be the man you were designed to be.
