7 Ways to Improve youR Communication as a man

My lack of communication skills has cost me greatly in all aspects of my life. My romantic partners, my family, my career have all felt the confusion, betrayal, and hurt from this poor habit.

It’s important as a man, you mean what you say and say what you mean. Most men tend to withhold their thoughts because you don’t want to offend others. 

Do you lash out when you feel angry? Have you and your partner been having the same fights over and over again without any resolve?

Healthy communication sets the foundation for all healthy relationships.

Unfortunately, many man lack essential communication skills. Maybe they learned bad habits from their own parents. Perhaps they don’t know how to set boundaries.

Regardless of the circumstances, poor communication creates frustrating patterns with loved ones. It also tends to create resentment, anger, and low self-esteem. 

Many of us only listen to respond. When someone else speaks, we plot our next move. We imagine our next lines. In immediately start thinking about what we need. 

As a result, we can go through an entire conversation without really knowing what the other person said.

Improving your listening skills will naturally enhance your communication, as well as improve how others understand and respect you. Remember this…

True listening requires active effort, intention, and mindfulness.

Here are some tips:

1) Be Aware of Assumptions

First, find any assumptions you are holding. If you assume you know what someone feels, you’ll only pay attention to the information that reinforces that thought. 

Assumptions are natural and no man can be perfectly mindful 24/7. We organize our thoughts. We hold biases and opinions. The goal here is to be more aware of your assumptions.

2) Keep An Open and Curious Mind

Focus on staying curious and interested. When we feel defensive over an issue, it’s because we are close-minded. Think about the benefits of learning something new. You will quickly feel more engaged and refreshed by the conversation.

3) Ask For Clarification

It’s okay to want clarification when you feel confused about something.

It shows that you’re paying attention! Many MEN avoid clarifying because they worry they’ll come across as rude or incompetent.

The first step towards connecting with someone is understanding them. If you don’t understand what they’re saying, you miss the chance to strengthen your relationship.

4) Pay Attention To Your Nonverbal Cues

Nonverbal communication is just as important as direct content.

How people say something often carries more weight than what they say. 

An open body posture indicates relaxation and openness. Crossed arms or legs show the opposite. When interacting with others, consider your posture. Are you loose and relaxed? Or, are you tight and constricted? 

How you hold yourself and walk into a room also matters. Do you slouch with your head hanging low? Or do you stand up straight and tall with your shoulders back? The latter commands authority, respect and engagement. 

If you’re ever wondering how well you’re connected to someone, look for signs of mirroring. Mirroring happens when two people are bonded. You can see it in parents and young children, as well as in social relationships and between couples. 

5) Don’t Automatically Jump To Solutions

When you love someone, it’s only natural to want to help them when they’re in pain. Men tend to be solution-focused in conversations. 

When they identify a problem, they think of the best course for fixing it. But consider this…

Many people don’t actually need advice. Instead, they want support.

They want acknowledgment and validation and acknowledgment of their emotions. 

Advice tends to be flat, cold and one-dimensional even invalidating. 

Next time someone comes to you with an issue, consider trading your solutions for validation.

Furthermore, instead of assuming you know what the other person needs, actually ask them!

6) Know Your Boundaries

We all need boundaries. They protect our personal integrity. They convey self-respect. Similarly, they show respect and compassion towards other people. 

Many communication issues stem from a lack of healthy boundaries.

Either one person crosses the other person’s boundaries too frequently, or the relationship lacks boundaries entirely.

You are entitled to your own limits. These limits may fluctuate from person to person. They can also evolve based on your changing needs through out your life.

Here Are Some Examples Of Common Boundaries:

• I will not pursue people who reject me.

• I will not tolerate lying.

• I will only engage in mutually enjoyable relationships.

• I will not say “yes” just to please others.

• I will not tolerate people disrespecting me.

Boundaries are only as effective as your ability to implement them. This means you need to know what you are and are not willing to tolerate. If someone crosses that boundary, you want to react accordingly.

Boundaries create a framework for healthy communication because they allow you to express your needs to another person.

If you don’t know these needs, you may become aggressive or passive. Others may feel like they have to “read your mind” to know what you’re thinking. 

These type of scenarios can cause excess stress for both you and the other person.

7) Pay Attention To The Other Person’s Needs

When you truly listen to listen, you start to identify patterns in how people communicate. Are they opening up to you because they need support? 

Do they need encouragement? Are they looking to you for ideas or mentorship?

Part of healthy communication is reducing your ego and increasing your humility. This means having an intention to help and support others. 

Don’t be afraid to compromise when it’s appropriate. It’s easy to get caught up in wanting to be “right” about particular issueS. 

However, sometimes, you’ll benefit from conceding to someone else’s needs. 

Healthy relationships will always have a mutual process of give and take. But, if you don’t focus enough on the giving aspect, people will start to resent you.

Final Thoughts…

So many men struggle with healthy communication. We tend to focus more on our own needs. We get concerned about letting our guard down. We worry about being perceived as “weak”.

But secure modern men understand the significance of honest and open communication.

They enjoy listening. They want to connect with the people they love. These values transcend in their relationships. 

A modern man can speak what’s on their minds, and they can respect others more easily. As a result, they enjoy more meaningful communication.